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Vision Expo A Success After Almost No Optometrists Got So Drunk They Shat Their Bed
Organizers at this year’s Vision Expo were very impressed by the “relatively few” numbers of optometrists who defecated in their high thread count hotel...
Pet Shop Owner Confused By Keratoconic Man’s Request To Buy a Pair of Mini-Squirrels
In what has been a first for pet shop owner Ishaan Patel, a keratoconic man today enquired about buying a pair of mini-squirrels.
At...
New OCT Software Predicts Likelihood Patient Is Related To Nicolas Cage
In a major development in the use of artificial intelligence in medicine, a new OCT software update will now predict the likelihood that a...
Joe Biden’s Cataracts Have Somehow Grown Back
The White House announced today that despite having already had IOL’s and YAG capsulotomies, somehow Joe Biden has developed grade 3 nuclear cataracts.
“The...
Unhappy Man Says Broken Glasses Are Barely Even 12 Years Old
A local man has taken his frustration out on the staff at Vision Gainz California today after a pair of glasses he purchased barely...
Ophthalmologist and Patient Officially Run Out Of Small Talk After 60th Intravitreal Injection
The silence was deafening in Consult Room 3 today, as a patient and doctor officially ran out of small talk after the patient's 60th...
Professionals Who Spend All Day In Dim Rooms Say Children Should Spend More Time Outdoors
In myopia control news an entire profession who spends all day indoors, mostly in dim rooms, has urged children to play outside more.
The new...
AOA and AAO Presidents Agree To Cage Fight At Vegas Octogon
The presidents of the American Optometric Association and The American Academy Of Ophthalmology have decided to settle this beef for good, and cage fight...
Inflation Bites As Optometrists Struggle To Maintain 1000% Markups
Optometrists around the country are feeling the pinch as inflation sets in, with many struggling to even maintain a humble 1000% margin on single...
Dave Ramsay Stumped By Optometrist Who Has Spent $800,000 On iCare Tonometer Probes
Popular financial guru Dave Ramsay has finally been stumped by a phone call from a desperate optometrist who has somehow racked up over $800,000...
Optometrists and Nation’s Moms Agree, You’re Watching Too Much TV
Optometrists and nation’s moms completely agree that you should turn the TV off and go outside.
And don’t think for a second that you can...
Person With Blue-Blocking Lenses Really Underwhelmed By The Maldives
To say that local woman Carol Manning was very disappointed with the Maldives would be an understatement.
Manning, 62 of Bristol had saved for...
Tik Tok OMD’s Who Say OD’s Can’t Be Trusted Conveniently Forget Radial Keratotomy Ever Existed
Tik Tok users have reported a spike in frantic ophthalmologists twerking into a camera to highlight their concern about the trustworthiness of Californian OD’s...
Washington D.C. Optometrist Says She Hasn’t Prescribed An Add Less Than +2.50 For Years
A Washington D.C optometrist revealed today that she longer bothers to measure a near Add, given it is +2.50 every single time.
“I used to...
Deez-Cases Launch First Ever Combined Spectacle and Contact Lens Case
Following a successful venture capital raising round, Deez-Cases have launched a combined spectacle and contact lens case set to disrupt the $1 billion per...