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Gifts

Ghost of Patrick Swayze Appears While Optometrist Takes Scleral Mould

In a surprise to local contact lens specialist Teena Moore, the ghost of Patrick Swayze appeared today while she was taking an impression mould...

Deez-Cases Launch First Ever Combined Spectacle and Contact Lens Case

Following a successful venture capital raising round, Deez-Cases have launched a combined spectacle and contact lens case set to disrupt the $1 billion per...

Halloween Special: Crow’s Juicy Feast Thwarted By Dead Man’s Tough Scleral Lenses

A crow today finally met his match as he was unable to enjoy the deliciousness of a recently deceased man's vitreous on account of...

Pseudomonas Infects Cornea In Intricate Plan To Free Brother From Lab Petrie Dish

Determined to find a way to enter the lab where his brother is being held, a local pseudomonas bacterium today infected a cornea as...

Contact Lens Industry Announces Uniform Move From Base Curve To Cup Size

In a heated and at times emotional meeting today, the Baseline Unit of Standards in Technology (BUST) group reached an agreement to officially change...

Company CEO Apologises For Whitening Strip and Fluorescein Strip Mixup

Stripco Pty Ltd has issued a company statement apologising for a recent mixup which saw its customers receive fluorescein strips instead of whitening strips. Company...

Pet Shop Owner Confused By Keratoconic Man’s Request To Buy a Pair of Mini-Squirrels

In what has been a first for pet shop owner Ishaan Patel, a keratoconic man today enquired about buying a pair of mini-squirrels. At...

Patient Picks Wrong Time To Have an Angle Closure As Ophthalmologist Digs Into This...

There was never a good time for local man Des Hilton to have an angle closure, but certainly 12:45pm today was one of the...

Balding Optometrist Worried His Anterior Scotoma Is Getting Worse

It's 2am and local optometrist Keith Stephenson is having yet another soul crushing look in the mirror as he realises that his hairline is...

Demodex and Staph Aureus Leaders Reach Historic Agreement On Lid Margin Territory Dispute

Brussels - Today marked an end to decades of agitation from both sides as Demodex and Staph Aureus leaders reached a historic agreement to...
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