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Sales Rep Disappointed No-One Has Ever Asked What He’d Be Willing To Do To Sell An OCT
An ophthalmic sales rep today revealed that disappointingly he has never been asked what he would be willing to do to close the deal...
Patient Picks Wrong Time To Have an Angle Closure As Ophthalmologist Digs Into This Delicious Tortellini
There was never a good time for local man Des Hilton to have an angle closure, but certainly 12:45pm today was one of the...
Balding Optometrist Worried His Anterior Scotoma Is Getting Worse
It's 2am and local optometrist Keith Stephenson is having yet another soul crushing look in the mirror as he realises that his hairline is...
Man Says The Glasses He Bought Three Years Ago and Has Worn Every Day Since Were Never Any Good
A man who has managed to wear his glasses for approximately 1000 days has advised his optometrist that they were never any good and...
Survey Finds 98% Of Optometrists Would Be Interested In Joining A Heist To Steal iCare Tonometer Probes
A survey has found conclusive evidence that almost all optometrists would be interested in joining a heist to steal iCare tonometer probes.
The data shows...
New Juicy McNuggets Now Have 20% More Vitreous
McDonalds has announced their new and improved McNuggets now have 20% more delicious juicy vitreous.
“One thing our customers have come to expect from us,...
Mixup Sees Ophthalmic Equipment Supplier Exhibit At Sexpo
A booking error today saw an ophthalmic equipment supplier accidentally set up and exhibit at the world's largest adult entertainment exhibition, Sexpo.
Bodily Instruments...
Joe Biden’s Cataracts Have Somehow Grown Back
The White House announced today that despite having already had IOL’s and YAG capsulotomies, somehow Joe Biden has developed grade 3 nuclear cataracts.
“The...
Specsavers Ads Voted As Funny By Men Wearing Bintang Singlets
“Haha, should have gone to Specsavers” is a phrase regarded as the height of comedy by a group of men who also think that...
5 Ways to Respond When a Patient’s Child Calls You Mummy
Let's face it, we've all been there and yet universities spend very little time preparing healthcare professionals for that inevitable moment when a patient's...
Protanope Splurges On New Brown Suit For Barbie Premiere
A local protanope has splurged on a new $500 brown suit to wear to the Barbie movie premiere.
The man is planning to attend the...
Explosive: Michael Cohen Claims Trump Showed Contempt Towards His Optometrist
Former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen has made staggering claims today regarding his former boss's contemptuous behaviour towards his optometrist.
In Cohen's new book titled...
Company CEO Apologises For Whitening Strip and Fluorescein Strip Mixup
Stripco Pty Ltd has issued a company statement apologising for a recent mixup which saw its customers receive fluorescein strips instead of whitening strips.
Company...
Trump Gives Presidential Medal Of Freedom To Auto-Refractor
Washington D.C - In a touching ceremony today, outgoing President Donald Trump awarded the nation's highest honor to an auto-refractor.
Trump gave an uncharacteristically...