Toaster At The Breakfast Buffet A Hit At Annual Conference
90% of delegates at this year’s Optometry Congress have rated the conveyor belt toaster at the breakfast buffet as ‘very good’ or ‘excellent’.
Many...
Popular Australian Sex Shop Enters Optometry Market
The popular Australian adult store, Chemist Warehouse, has entered the optometry market.
Known for depressing fluorescent lights and low priced vibrators, Chemist Warehouse has announced...
Optometrist In Coma After Reading Another Facebook Post About Aberrations
A young optometrist has had most of the life sucked out of him after reading yet another Facebook post by one of those weird...
Biden Orders Drone Strike After Seeing Strange Balloon During Eye Exam
Joe Biden has immediately ordered a drone to strike his local optometry practice after seeing a strange balloon while having his eyes tested.
“Shoot it...
Confused Father Takes Myopic Kids For Spray Tan After Optometrist Suggests They Spend More...
A local man today completely misunderstood the myopia control message his child’s optometrist was trying to make.
“Tim’s myopia continues to progress. In addition to...
Patient Complains About Cost Of Glasses To Optometrist Who Just Had To Pay 200...
“Boy doc, you must be making a fortune off these glasses”.
A local man today complained about the cost of glasses to his optometrist,...
Pope Says Fitting Soft Contact Lenses Counts As Charity
The Pope today reassured the optometry profession that fitting contact lenses totally counts as charity.
“There is no way you are making any money from...
Prince Harry Reveals He Lost His Virginity To A 69yo Optician Named Barbara In...
Prince Harry has revealed in his new memoir that he lost his virginity in an optometry practice to a 69 year old optician named...
Shepherd Seeing Lights Actually Having A Retinal Detachment
A local shepherd today was too mesmerised by the distant night lights to realise that he was actually having a retinal detachment.
“I can’t...
Inflation: Optometrists Will Now Sell 1.75 Pairs For $199
As inflation spikes globally, discount optical providers have been forced to slash the number of pairs of glasses they can sell for the infamous...
