Outraged Astigmatism Patients Want Footballs To Stop Being Kicked So Aggressively
The Association of Xenomorphic International Stromas (AXIS) has organised mass protests at stadiums worldwide today, asking for footballs to stop being kicked so aggressively....
Government Recalls 2014 Batch of Optometry Graduates
The government today issued a mandatory recall of all 2014 graduating optometrists following evidence indicating a bad batch.
Head of Consumer Safety, Dr Peter...
Panicking Ophthalmologist Locks Car Doors After Seeing Local Optometrists Casually Walking By
A local ophthalmologist today is certain he narrowly escaped death as an optometry couple casually walked by minding their own business.
The man, a distinguished...
Gas, Grass or Ass – Nation’s Optometrists Commence Annual Pilgrimage To Vision Expo
One by one the nation's optometrists have flipped the closed signs on their practice doors, grabbed their tie-dye shirts and piled into vans all...
Practice Employs A Biographer For Patients Who Insist On Telling Their Entire Life Story
A local optometry practice has made the move to employ a biographer to document the life stories of patients who insist on sharing them....
Ticking Timebomb: Local Optometrist Unaware New Girlfriend Thinks He’s An Ophthalmologist
A lovely relationship is about to come to a screeching halt as a local man clarifies that he’s not the kind of eye doctor...
A Touching Gesture: Ophthalmologist Implants Ferrero Rocher Following Emergency Christmas Eneucleation
In a touching gesture, a horrific Christmas accident has been turned around by a local ophthalmologist who implanted a Ferrero Rocher following an emergency...
Prescription Headlamps Set To Revolutionise Self Driving Car Industry
A new startup is set to revolutionise the self driving car industry with their release of the world's first ever prescription headlamps for myopic...
Optical Dispenser Insists On High Fiving Every Patient With PD of 69
"Bro, hit me five!" is the shout every other staff member and patient at Chad's Solid Eyes cringes when they hear. It is the...
Tucker Carlson Says He Is Constitutionally Allowed To Pee On Your Visual Field Machine
Ophthalmic technicians today were unsuccessful at stopping local man Tucker Carlson from peeing all over their Humphrey HFA visual field machine. #notsponsored
Multiple staff members...
