Lottery Uses Non Contact Tonometer To Generate Random Numbers
The state lottery today announced it has upgraded its random number generation technology.
“From now on we will use a non-contact tonometer to generate a...
“There Must Be A Shortage Of Optometrists” Claims Company No-One Wants To Work For
The CEO of a large optometry chain today has confidently proclaimed that there must be a shortage of optometrists, despite the fact that in...
Breakthrough Compromise- Desantis Says Florida Optometrists Can Call Themselves Doctor, But Only On Tinder
In a last minute breakthrough, Florida Governor Desantis has made all parties happy by agreeing that despite optometrists losing the ability to call themselves...
Billy Ray Cyrus Threatens To Leave Spotify If Scleral Lens Podcasters Don’t Stop Saying...
Billy Ray Cyrus has threatened to remove all of his songs from Spotify if scleral lens podcasters don’t stop incorrectly using the term ‘base...
Optometry Practice Adds Fitting Rooms For Patients Who Prefer To Try On Frames Naked
Munich, Germany - Following extensive patient surveys, MoonVision GmbH today launched their new fitting rooms for patients who would prefer to try on their...
Confused Father Takes Myopic Kids For Spray Tan After Optometrist Suggests They Spend More...
A local man today completely misunderstood the myopia control message his child’s optometrist was trying to make.
“Tim’s myopia continues to progress. In addition to...
Biden Says Plummeting Value Of Soft Contact Lenses Will Save USA From Hyper-Inflation
A calm and reassuring Joe Biden today told reporters that the plummeting value of soft contact lenses will be the thing that saves America...
Finland Experiences Outbreak Of Prime Ministers Who Slept In Their Contacts
Finnish optometrists have reported a spike in Prime Ministers who recently slept in their contacts, even though they were told not to.
Symptoms of Prime...
Trendy Ophthalmologists Name Their Child Pseudomonas
A couple of cool ophthalmologists today welcomed to the world Miss Pseudomonas Greenberg.
The couple’s circle of friends, 99% of whom are also ophthalmologists, were...
Optical Dispenser Insists On High Fiving Every Patient With PD of 69
"Bro, hit me five!" is the shout every other staff member and patient at Chad's Solid Eyes cringes when they hear. It is the...
