Ophthalmic technicians today were unsuccessful at stopping local man Tucker Carlson from peeing all over their Humphrey HFA visual field machine. #notsponsored
Multiple staff members attempted to rationalize with the man, but despite their attempts, he just kept on urinating.
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The man was adamant that the United States constitution explicitly allows him to pee on any visual field machine he wants, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do about it.
“our forefathers held it true that any man should be able to pee on any perimetry device he wants”
When asked by our reporters how he managed to pee for 6 minutes straight while staff tried in vein to stop him, all he said was “that’s freedom my friend”.
