Perverts Rejoice As Facebook and Rayban Normalize Being A Total Creep
Perverts worldwide today are celebrating the launch of Facebook and Luxottica's foray into filming people in situations where this is totally unnecessary.
With features...
Australia Sends 3000 Snakes To UK To Help Administer Vaccine
In a generous move by the Australian colony to their British overlords, the people of Australia have agreed to send 3000 snakes to help...
Specsavers Ads Voted As Funny By Men Wearing Bintang Singlets
“Haha, should have gone to Specsavers” is a phrase regarded as the height of comedy by a group of men who also think that...
1 in 2 Austrians Admit to Cleaning Their Contact Lenses In Almdudler
A new study has shockingly revealed that 1 in 2 Austrians admit to washing their contact lenses in the nation's favourite beverage - Almdudler....
Ghost of Patrick Swayze Appears While Optometrist Takes Scleral Mould
In a surprise to local contact lens specialist Teena Moore, the ghost of Patrick Swayze appeared today while she was taking an impression mould...
Patient Shattered To Find Out Cyl Axis Has Risen From 10 to 180
A local patient, who insists on asking for a copy of her prescription, was heartbroken today to see that her cyl axis had risen...
God Announces New Humans Will Come With USB-C Instead of Optic Nerves
In a surprise upgrade, all humans from 2024 will have USB-C cables instead of optic nerves.
Glaucoma specialists have cautioned that this may not be...
Medieval Hallucinogen May Slow Myopic Progression
The Journal of Obvious Medicine (JOM) today published a paper showing that, as any logical person would predict, the medieval trans-vaginal hallucinogen atropine may...
Code Red: Hungover Optometrist Spots A Family Of Patients At Supermarket
A very hungover optometrist today panicked after spotting a whole family of patients at the supermarket while she was buying 3 litres of Gatorade.
The...
Wow, This Kid’s Rich Friend Even Has His Own Optometrist Tied Up In His...
Little Ted Kenneally today was amazed that as well as all the latest video games, his rich friend also has his very own optometrist...
