CDC Recommends Disinfecting Your Optometrist Prior To Sleeping With Them
The Centers For Disease Control today advised the public that it is best to disinfect their optometrists prior to sleeping with them.
CDC Director...
Gas, Grass or Ass – Nation’s Optometrists Commence Annual Pilgrimage To Vision Expo
One by one the nation's optometrists have flipped the closed signs on their practice doors, grabbed their tie-dye shirts and piled into vans all...
Mixup Sees Ophthalmic Equipment Supplier Exhibit At Sexpo
A booking error today saw an ophthalmic equipment supplier accidentally set up and exhibit at the world's largest adult entertainment exhibition, Sexpo.
Bodily Instruments...
Catholic Church To Offer Exorcisms For Frames Which Break Themselves
The Catholic Church released a statement today advising they will now offer exorcisms for spectacles frames which miraculously manage to break themselves through no...
Theme Park Adds Non-Contact Tonometry To Roller Coaster To Increase Terror
A local theme park has made the decision to add non-contact tonometry to their roller coaster ride in order to add terror plus have...
40 Year Old Man Says His Reading Vision Was Fine Up Until He Got...
Local 40 year old man Mitchell Daniels has confidently told his friends today to be aware that his reading vision started to deteriorate pretty...
Consultants Busy Hiding Easter Eggs While Tired Trainees Sleep
With the last exhausted ophthalmology resident finally asleep, consultants have begun the annual tradition of hiding easter eggs as a special surprise for their...
Nation’s Children Announce They Know The Stickers Given At The End Of Eye Tests...
In a press conference hosted outside Chuck E Cheese today, the nation's children broke the news that they are completely aware that the stickers...
“There Must Be A Shortage Of Optometrists” Claims Company No-One Wants To Work For
The CEO of a large optometry chain today has confidently proclaimed that there must be a shortage of optometrists, despite the fact that in...
Disgusted Optometrist Busts Husband Buying Contact Lenses Online
In what will be another test to their marriage, a local optometrist today caught her perverted husband in the act of buying contact lenses...
