Heston Admits He’s Been Putting Pilocarpine in Gordon Ramsay’s Food For Years
In an end to one of the greatest culinary pranks in history, Heston Blumenthal today revealed that he has been putting pilocarpine in Gordon...
Ghost of Patrick Swayze Appears While Optometrist Takes Scleral Mould
In a surprise to local contact lens specialist Teena Moore, the ghost of Patrick Swayze appeared today while she was taking an impression mould...
Demodex and Staph Aureus Leaders Reach Historic Agreement On Lid Margin Territory Dispute
Brussels - Today marked an end to decades of agitation from both sides as Demodex and Staph Aureus leaders reached a historic agreement to...
After 40 Years, Retiring Ophthalmologist Still Remembered By Colleagues For His Epic Flatulence As...
As the speeches at Dr Frank Lowan's retirement party drew to a close today, it became apparent that despite 40 years of tireless service...
Balding Optometrist Worried His Anterior Scotoma Is Getting Worse
It's 2am and local optometrist Keith Stephenson is having yet another soul crushing look in the mirror as he realises that his hairline is...
Contact Lens Industry Announces Uniform Move From Base Curve To Cup Size
In a heated and at times emotional meeting today, the Baseline Unit of Standards in Technology (BUST) group reached an agreement to officially change...
Outraged Astigmatism Patients Want Footballs To Stop Being Kicked So Aggressively
The Association of Xenomorphic International Stromas (AXIS) has organised mass protests at stadiums worldwide today, asking for footballs to stop being kicked so aggressively....
Graphic Designer Cannot Believe His Own Brilliance Upon Developing An Eyecare Business Logo In...
Mathias Sleeman today cannot believe his own brilliance after developing a logo for a local optometry startup in the style of a Snellen chart.
CEO,...
Patient With Really Sore Eye Is Only Available To See You After His Pilates...
Manchester - England. In a case straight from a practice triage instructional video, the staff at Visions Etc Manchester immediately went into emergency red...
World Wakes To Hazy Aftermath Of Global Eyecare Debauchery As Date Passes 6/6/2020
In what would have been an otherwise mundane and uneventful year, eyecare practitioners have broken loose to celebrate the industry's official day, some two...
