A patient trapped inside an eye clinic during the coronavirus shut-down has admitted that he has actually had a pretty good 3 weeks.
Leonard Davidson, 67 emerged from the clinic’s toilet 3 weeks ago to find that all of the lights had been turned off and staff had gone home.
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“I arrived a bit late for my appointment and I asked if I could use the toilet when I arrived because that’s just what you do when you’re already running late, you know?”.
“Then after about 20 minutes of emptying my bladder and checking my phone, I came out and everyone had just gone. It’s like they totally forgot that I was here.”
Mr Davidson soon realised that he might as well make the best of a bad situation.
“At first I really didn’t know what to do, but once I realised that I had unfettered access to all of the ocular diagnostic equipment money could buy, it was like all of my wildest dreams had come true.”
“Have you ever tried drinking atropine and listening to pink floyd, that’s quite a trip. now i know how those myopia control kids must feel”
Leonard Davidson
Security footage shows that Mr Davidson spent hours each day wearing a doctor’s lab coat and rubbing his genitals on the chin-rest of multiple pieces of equipment. He was also recorded eating Beryl’s left over birthday cake and drinking contact lens cleaner whilst refracting himself.
Owners of the clinic have decided to permanently close the facility.
