Paris, France – In a bold move today, the Parisian fashion house and parfumerie founded by Coco Chanel released a new fragrance based entirely on that consult room with the weird smell.
Whilst somewhat polarising, the brand expects there will be a market for the fragrance amongst those consumers with unusual penchants for musty stenches, and those who will buy anything with a brand label on it.
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Vice President of Olfactory Innovation, Ms Monique De Nez chose to launch the new fragrance near the city’s waste management centre, which most attendees presumed was just another luxury brand’s attempt at an avant garde product launch.
“the retired optometrist’s armpit stench was exactly what we needed”
De Nez outlined the painstaking process the fashion house went through to perfect the fragrance “The low notes of body odour and expired oxybuprocaine were easy to source. Once we had those tones we offered to buy the used nappies of all of the local children which helped up with the mid-notes. The high notes were actually exceptionally difficult. In the end we sent our expert scent testers across countless eye clinics until we finally found a retired optometrist whose post-whiskey arm-pit stench was exactly what we needed.”
De Nez also added “Lastly we’d like to apologise to the eye care community for the global fluorescein shortage due to us buying all of the world’s remaining fluorescein for this fragrance.”
