A senior researcher has sent a faculty wide email today proudly announcing that after a long career, he has finally proven a relationship between himself and a 21 year old research assistant.
Associate Professor Nathaniel Mill has spent years of his life in the secluded void of his visual optics laboratory and until now, his research efforts have been yet to establish any meaningful relationship.
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Prof Mill gleefully announced to colleagues that he will soon be publishing details of his groundbreaking development on social media and that he will also be holding a seminar in room C.23 to brief other senior researchers on his methodology.
21 year old research assistant Chloe Armitage was less than impressed by Prof Mill’s announcement. “What the hell? A relationship with me? That’s crazy, what a creep. Look, I’ve gotta go”.
Armitage then hopped into her boyfriend’s Camaro leaving a dejected looking Prof Mills standing in the rain holding a flaccid bunch of flowers, before heading to the university bar with his senior colleagues whilst they peer reviewed what went wrong.
