As the speeches at Dr Frank Lowan’s retirement party drew to a close today, it became apparent that despite 40 years of tireless service to patient care, countless overseas medical aid trips and decades of educating future practitioners, he will always be remembered by colleagues for his epic flatulence as a trainee.
Colleague Dr Marcus Penski noted in his speech that “everyone knew when Frank was at the hospital, if you know what I’m saying! My gosh it was bad! Have you ever tried operating next door to an overturned garbage truck? I think I’d prefer that!”.
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Lowan’s other colleague Dr Peter Hubards went further “Frank’s sphincter would work overtime. I’m sure with that much strain his rectum was highly myopic. He’d cut the cheese more often than he’d cut the medial rectus! It was like there was a poop-ghost in the operating theatre at all times. I remember the day of our final surgical assessments, I’m 90% sure Frank had sharted in his scrubs, but he just kept on operating like it was just another day at the office.”
Dr Lowan confessed that he was mildly disappointed by the tone of the speeches, however did admit that Dr Hubards’ suspicions were in fact correct. “That’s right, I sharted. Don’t look at me like that.”
