“I’ve come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass…and I’m all out of bubblegum”.
Clinic HR managers are not quite sure how to handle new eye doctor, Dr Cliff Eastwood, who for some reason likes to talk tough to bacteria before he kills them.
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Arriving each morning in a raised pick-up truck with Kid Rock blaring loudly, Eastwood certainly stands apart from his relatively conservative colleagues. His cut-off denim shorts, stars and stripes bandana and military boots also have patients wondering whether he really is a trained eyecare professional.
Eastwood’s credentials are extensive however it is his compulsion to threaten pathogens before destroying them which has caused some patients to leave his clinic seeking a more level headed approach to treating their infection.
Local patient Barbara Adams found Dr Eastwood’s demeanour to be slightly aggressive given she only had bacterial conjunctivitis. “At first I thought his muscle shirt and tattoos were unusual but I didn’t think much of it. It was only when he started screaming at my right eye that I became confused and scared. He said he was going to open a can of whoop-ass and was saying something about making orphans of my children. I didn’t know what was going on”.
When asked by our reporters about his unconventional style, Dr Eastwood replied by saying that “if your parents died of natural causes only to go on to be decomposed for eternity by millions of bacteria, you’d be a little angry too. I make no apology for trying to take back this territory from those scumbag pathogens. They say marriages are made in heaven, yeah well, so are thunder and lightning.”
Surprisingly some patients appear to like Dr Eastwood’s aggressive style. Bobby Franklin Senior told our reporters “I had a bacterial ulcer. It was real bad. But when my man Dr Eastwood told me that if he had to blow a hole in my face to stop the infection he’d do it and sleep like a baby that night, I knew I was in good hands.”
Dr Eastwood was last seen riding into the night on the back of his girlfriend’s Harley Davidson.
