Pseudomonas Infects Cornea In Intricate Plan To Free Brother From Lab Petrie Dish

A tiny helicobacter can be seen flying away from the dish as the breakout comes to a dramatic end

Determined to find a way to enter the lab where his brother is being held, a local pseudomonas bacterium today infected a cornea as part of an intricate plan to free his incarcerated sibling.

Authorities have revealed that the bacterium’s plan was to be swabbed and sent to the very lab where his innocent brother was being held on death row. Once arriving in the lab, he would then free his brother from inside of the facility.

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Staff at the laboratory were tipped off when a microbiologist noticed that one of the bacteria in her petrie dish was different to the others.

Dr Michelle Schofield reported “I was examining the cell structure of the pseudomonas sample we had cultured in a petrie dish when I noticed that one of them was wearing a lunch-lady dress and was pushing a trolley around the dish. I followed it for a while and just as it reached another similar looking bacterium, I noticed it took off its costume and they started to make a run for it with a tiny blanket they had thrown over the sharp edge of the dish.”

When asked what happened next, Dr Schofield wasn’t so willing to share the rest of the story “I’d tell you what happened next, but Netflix has bought the rights to the story for an 8 season streaming series, so you’ll just have to tune in to find out”.

Disney