Staff at Brown’s Eye Care today were completely unsurprised when their 4:00pm patient, who arrived at 4:10pm, asked on arrival whether there was a toilet she could use.
The phenomenon of late-running patients requiring the use of a toilet on immediate arrival, which sets them even further late for their appointment, has been intensively studied however researchers have been unable to conclusively prove an underlying cause for the correlation.
Donate to support CRONEA
For the price of one nose pad per month, you can join Team CRONEA and keep the lights on while we work tirelessly to bring humor to the otherwise sad flaccid lives of the eye care industry.
Click To Join Team CRONEA on Patreon
It is suspected that the relief attached to finally making it to the appointment causes patient’s bowels to relax in a way such that they can only concentrate during the eye test if they hold the entire business up for another 10-20 minutes while they empty their bowels.
Owner of Brown’s Eye Care, Dr Carl Brown has just about had enough of the hold-ups related to his patient’s Spontaneous Tardy Optometric and Ophthalmic Lavatory (STOOL) syndrome and has replied by installing a working open toilet hidden under a wooden frame display.
Dr Brown told us, “I don’t understand why people feel the urgent need to shit as soon as they arrive, especially when they’re late. Everybody knows that my time is worth 7 times theirs, like dog years. From now on I’m just going to have my staff kindly invite them to take a quick dump in the waiting room toilet while my technician checks their pupils so that at least we can make a start.”
