Catholic Church To Offer Exorcisms For Frames Which Break Themselves

"I just opened the case and they were like this"

The Catholic Church released a statement today advising they will now offer exorcisms for spectacles frames which miraculously manage to break themselves through no fault of the patient.

It has been known in the optometry industry for some time that a small percentage of frames somehow are prone to breaking themselves overnight and in their case, despite obvious signs of wearer abuse and neglect.

Text Example

Donate to support CRONEA

For the price of one nose pad per month, you can join Team CRONEA and keep the lights on while we work tirelessly to bring humor to the otherwise sad flaccid lives of the eye care industry.
Click To Join Team CRONEA on Patreon

“If we are to trust what patients say, then the only possible explanation for a frame which somehow breaks whilst in its case….is that this is the work of the devil himself”

Cardinal Petro Safilo, Vatican Possessed-Spectacle Envoy

Disney