Let’s face it, we’ve all been there and yet universities spend very little time preparing healthcare professionals for that inevitable moment when a patient’s own child will look you in the eye and call you mummy. Here’s Cronea’s definitive guide to handling this delicate situation.
1. Firstly, don’t panic. Think carefully. Ask yourself, did you actually birth this child? If you are unsure, take a moment to cross-check the child’s date of birth against your Facebook timeline to see if you coincidentally received many congratulatory messages around that same date.
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2. If you are from England, promptly and sternly inform the child that you prefer the term ‘Mother’.
3. Laugh awkwardly. Then later on think of all of the better ways you could have handled that situation.
4. Use the child’s trust in you to up-sell them to more profitable optical or surgical solutions.
5. Explain to the child that whilst you are highly attracted to their father, you have not in fact copulated with him and therefore the child should continue in their search for their mother elsewhere.
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