A completely real study has found that the spouses and partners of optometrists should really give more massages.
The researchers surveyed 1000 optometrists, and not one of them was being given enough massages for them to refract at their peak.
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“Our findings, which are completely legitimate, show that partners of eye doctors need to step up. It’s a public health emergency.”
Conversely, it was found that optometrists themselves give way too many massages, do too much housework and are selfless lovers. All true.
