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Gifts

Patient Picks Wrong Time To Have an Angle Closure As Ophthalmologist Digs Into This...

There was never a good time for local man Des Hilton to have an angle closure, but certainly 12:45pm today was one of the...

Pseudomonas Infects Cornea In Intricate Plan To Free Brother From Lab Petrie Dish

Determined to find a way to enter the lab where his brother is being held, a local pseudomonas bacterium today infected a cornea as...

Ghost of Patrick Swayze Appears While Optometrist Takes Scleral Mould

In a surprise to local contact lens specialist Teena Moore, the ghost of Patrick Swayze appeared today while she was taking an impression mould...

Demodex and Staph Aureus Leaders Reach Historic Agreement On Lid Margin Territory Dispute

Brussels - Today marked an end to decades of agitation from both sides as Demodex and Staph Aureus leaders reached a historic agreement to...

Contact Lens Industry Announces Uniform Move From Base Curve To Cup Size

In a heated and at times emotional meeting today, the Baseline Unit of Standards in Technology (BUST) group reached an agreement to officially change...

Balding Optometrist Worried His Anterior Scotoma Is Getting Worse

It's 2am and local optometrist Keith Stephenson is having yet another soul crushing look in the mirror as he realises that his hairline is...

Patient With Really Sore Eye Is Only Available To See You After His Pilates...

Manchester - England. In a case straight from a practice triage instructional video, the staff at Visions Etc Manchester immediately went into emergency red...

Company CEO Apologises For Whitening Strip and Fluorescein Strip Mixup

Stripco Pty Ltd has issued a company statement apologising for a recent mixup which saw its customers receive fluorescein strips instead of whitening strips. Company...

1 in 2 Austrians Admit to Cleaning Their Contact Lenses In Almdudler

A new study has shockingly revealed that 1 in 2 Austrians admit to washing their contact lenses in the nation's favourite beverage - Almdudler....

Facebook Finally Quarantines Server Hosting Picture of Viral Conjunctivitis

A sweaty and out of breath Mark Zuckerberg today held a media conference to advise that the company had finally located and quarantined the...
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