Washington D.C – In a touching ceremony today, outgoing President Donald Trump awarded the nation’s highest honor to an auto-refractor.
Trump gave an uncharacteristically eloquent speech, highlighting the contribution the auto-refractor has made to the lives of Americans.
“This auto-refractor has saved the times of many optometrists, who otherwise would have struggled through long and difficult refractions.”
Trump’s speech soon took an awkward detour, as he elaborated “Today we honor this machine of science, even though many people are saying that science doesn’t even know anything about refractions, I mean, what kind of low energy loser doesn’t even know their own prescription? Actually, this machine is tremendously over-rated.”
