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Retiring Optical Dispenser Sheds a Tear As He Licks a Patient’s Frame For The Last Time

Winston Turnbull has successfully passed on herpes simplex to over 1000 frames

Ending a remarkable career in Optical Dispensing, today saw the final day on the tiny tools for Winston Turnbull.

Turnbull, 72, has spent his entire adult life fulfilling his burning desire to adjust patient’s spectacle frames to levels never before seen, and likely never to be seen again. Whilst many “mainstream” optical dispensers these days would consider some of Turnbull’s techniques somewhat “criminal”, you cannot doubt that he is a man who loves what he does.

Turnbull takes great pride in caressing, stroking and fondling frames into their optimal positions. As Turnbull ended his career today with one final lubricious lick, he was suddenly overcome with sadness and co-workers confirm that he was seen drying his face with a frame heater in an attempt to hide his tears.

Not taking too easily to retirement, Turnbull was last seen being escorted out of the sunglass section at KMart.

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