Heston Admits He’s Been Putting Pilocarpine in Gordon Ramsay’s Food For Years

The frown lines should been a giveaway

In an end to one of the greatest culinary pranks in history, Heston Blumenthal today revealed that he has been putting pilocarpine in Gordon Ramsay’s food for years.

The first reference of using pilocarpine in food to induce headaches and brow lines goes all the way back to Shakespeare’s play Coriolanus. Recently unearthed extra acts of this play detail a scene where Aufidius puts pilocarpine in Coriolanus’s gnocchi as payback for Coriolanus saying that Aufidius’s Nonna was hot.

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Gordon Ramsay appears to be having the last laugh however, as recently leaked optometry records show that contrary to his age, he has an IOP of 1mmHg and can read N3.2 at 10cm.

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